Why do I do this to myself?

[Shawna]

Ugh!!

My belly is so stuffed with Mexican food! It was so fun to go out to dinner with my husband, son, mom, and step dad and pig out just like old times. It's funny, all of us (except my mom) are "into" raw, yet not one of us batted an eye about going out to eat. It's so interesting how we are programmed to associate eating with socializing. I don't regret the experience, only the fact that I didn't stop when I was full.

Oh well, tomorrow is a new day. I am learning to have patience and compassion with myself when I stray from what I KNOW is right for my body and what my body WANTS and NEEDS.

As my dear friend, Arnold Kaufmann, says "The body wants to be in a loving state at all times." So, what I learn from that when I reflect on it is this: Even if I pig out on Mexican food, I need to generate love and gratitude, not anger and fear. Guilt and self-hatred begets illness and dis-ease.

Adios,
Shawna

[Gina]

Hi Shawna!!

As always I am touched by your honesty, and I have written Arnold's words on my fridge to remind me to be kind to myself and appreciate all the positive things that I do for myself and my family.


Great job with the website, you have been quite a busy bee!!


Lots of love,
Gina

[grnthghs]

I understand how people have difficulty when eating out. Not many raw food restaurants exist today. However, many are popping-up in places all over the country. Still I agree with Arnold about treating your body well. It is really a matter of life and death which I believe to be serious. People have made comments to me about not really wanting to live that long or being old is not good. Yet I think when we start to age the consideration of dying is obviously not too pleasing. I am 58 years young and during my forties I was mostly morose about life. I was overweight at about 280lbs (5'10") and not exercising. That formula was good for death and not much else. I thought about it because I had chest pains, but took magnesium for it that worked quite well. Although I was heavy, I was compact and carried the weight well. When I hit 50, I had a midlife crises and started working-out on my birthday that year. I lost 120lbs by practically starving and a six hour per day work-out regime. People asked me if I was training for the Olympics . I just said I was training for life. I had been an athlete when young and a high degree karate black belt. So, it was not like sports were new to me. Still my diet was awful and I did not sustain the weight getting busy in business. I took a year off and gained 80lbs back. I was gaining everyday with no end in sight. Ironically, my wife and I were vegan (Leslie has never had a weight problem), but I was still gaining. She had gone to Victoria B.'s seminar having told me about raw. We had a friend many years ago that had tried it a few months, but did not stay with it nor impress it upon us enough. One night at about 2AM, I suddenly arose in bed turning on the light exclaiming "That's it Leslie, we are going raw". I had given up and needed help with my diet. Leslie had been telling me about raw, but had finally given-up when I would have no part of it. She left me alone and I finally came home, because believe me that is exactly how I feel now losing 70lbs. in seven months without really dieting at all. I have eaten whatever I want but, of course, raw vegan. My taste buds have turned into "Taste Blossoms" and it is a little bit of heaven when I eat now. That of itself should keep people from eating cooked food. Raw food transforms one's taste buds. Just remember cooked food is dead whilst raw food is alive, what is your choice, it is very simple in my opinion. I understand that we have been eating cooked food for thousands of years, but intelligence must come to bear someday. It is the same with money politics regarding intelligence. I realise the flesh is weak, but we can overcome that with daily introspective prayer (eyes closed - very important scientifically), meditation, or contemplation, etc. Any of these acts greatly enhance one's will power over craving for cooked food. Also, one's longevity is enhanced by a thirty minute introspection each day along with the perfect diet of raw food. I should have gone raw with my friend thirty years ago. Here is to raw and all my new friends in this great movement and revolution in proper eating. It is nice to be truly alive again.

Cheers,
Tim Arnold

[Shawna]

Dear Tim,
I love your letter and especially the image of "taste blossoms". I agree that introspective prayer is a key component in whole person health. I am not sure why I occasionally give in to the cravings of the flesh when I KNOW with every ounce of my being that cooked food does not support my highest good in any way shape or form. Sometimes I think that staying stuck in a pattern of sabotage and self-defeating behaviors is part of immaturity on some level and part of the feeling of immortality that is part of being young. I turned 38 last week and I feel myself emerging from those behaviors and ideas. I definitely feel myself shifting in huge ways and honoring myself in ways that I haven't really done before.
I appreciate the dialogue!
Blessings,
Shawna

[lavenderbabe]

The book "The Four Agreements" really helped me to understand my own tendencies to self sabotaging behaviours and why I do things that I don't really want to do.  It gives a person tools to break old harmful agreements we are unaware we have made with ourselves and others and by using the four agreements of being impeccable with our word, taking nothing personally, making no assumptions and always doing our best helps us transform our minds and hearts into who we are really meant to be.
In early morning prayer hour every day I agree to be committed to the four agreements. It has had miraculous results in my life. I slip much less often now than I ever have. I am learning to forgive myself for the slips and move on easily without any shame or guilt in the process.
I used to be one of those people referred to above that didn't want to get old, was tired of the treachery of the world we live in and felt there was no purpose to my life. Now I am much healthier and know that everyday God uses me to touch someone else's life even if it is with just a smile or kind word.  I am much more able to stay out of self and my head.
Healthy live food brings clarity to your mind as well as your body.
I am 55 years old and within the last two years, people have been telling me I look 10 years younger. I feel younger and look forward to another 40 or so years now.

[Shawna]

Thanks for reminding me of that book. I've read it before, but don't have it. I think I'll get it. I appreciate your words of wisdom.