What are you really craving?

I was on a support call tonight for the Conscious Cleanse (more about that in a moment), and one of the things spoken about was this very question. What are you really craving? It got me thinking about my go-to comfort foods, my sugar addiction, my reckless food behaviors. And I asked myself the question.

Immediately, I saw an image, a memory…I was about 5 years old and I was standing on the threshold of our front door, crying. My mother was there, crying too, and leaving with her suitcase. When the door closed, my father, in an attempt to make us all feel better, joyfully – as if this was just another sunny day in Livermore – loaded us into his car and took us out for ice cream. Ice cream! This one food is my absolute, hands-down, first choice food for what ails ya’. It’s what’s for breakfast! This connection is so obvious. It doesn’t take any amount of psychotherapy or regression work to figure this out.

But…what has taken time to figure out is what am I really craving? So, tonight, Day 5 of the Conscious Cleanse, I am asking myself that question, and I am allowing the answer to show itself.

Control.

That’s what it is. Control. I notice a pattern. When my food cravings/behaviors/recklessness rear their ugly, yet oh so creamy heads, it is usually a time when I am feeling a loss of control around something. If I feel a loss of control because I am ultimately not filling my well, taking care of Me, feeding my soul, I turn to namely sugar. I get to control how much of that I put into my body.

Why am I even sharing this? Who cares? Well, for one, I am sharing this because it is a subtle breakthrough inspired by doing the Conscious Cleanse. For two, if this one simple question, “what are you really craving?”, inspires one other person to take a look at their food blueprint, then I am grateful for that.

What is the Conscious Cleanse? It is a 2-week transformational and guided eating program intended to assist the participants in becoming more aware of the body’s relationship to food. There is a book which can be used to do the cleanse on your own, or you can sign up for the full guided program, complete with online manual and closed Facebook group with 12 hours a day of live coaching.

I am feeling great. I have been sugar/caffeine/gluten/dairy/and meat free for 11 days now! Honestly, despite my sugar history, this has been easy. I have not had any sugar or other cravings yet. I have chosen to do this cleanse mostly raw. That is what feels right for my body right now. My meals go something like this: